Core terms
Self
Not a part, but the ground beneath all parts. Characterised by the 8 Cs: curiosity, calm, compassion, confidence, creativity, clarity, courage, and connectedness. Self is always present; parts can blend with it and obscure it, but they cannot damage or destroy it.
Parts
The distinct sub-personalities or inner states that make up the inner system. IFS holds that multiplicity is normal — everyone has parts. Parts are not problems to be eliminated; they are members of an inner family, each with a role and a history.
Exiles
The youngest, most vulnerable parts. They carry the memories, feelings, and beliefs from early painful experiences. Exiles are "exiled" by the system — pushed away — because their pain is overwhelming. Common exile burdens include the belief of being unlovable, too much, or destined to be abandoned.
Managers
Protector parts that work proactively — before exile pain is triggered — to keep the system functioning and safe. Examples: the inner critic, the people-pleaser, the hypervigilant part, the perfectionist, the controller.
Firefighters
Protector parts that react after an exile is triggered, trying to douse the pain immediately regardless of consequences. Examples: bingeing, dissociation, rage, reassurance-seeking, substance use.
Protectors
The collective term for managers and firefighters. Both are protective in intent; they differ in whether they work proactively or reactively.
Process and practice
Blending
When a part merges with Self so thoroughly that the person loses access to Self energy and experiences themselves as the part. "I am anxious" rather than "a part of me is anxious."
Unblending
The process of gently helping a part step back so that Self has more presence. Not the same as suppressing the part — unblending is done with respect and consent.
Unburdening
The healing moment when an exile releases the beliefs and emotions it has been carrying — the burdens that were not originally its own, but were absorbed from early experiences. After unburdening, parts can take on new, lighter roles.
Polarisation
When two or more protectors have opposing strategies and are in active conflict with each other. Common in fearful-avoidant attachment, where a push-toward and pull-away protector are in constant tension.
The 8 Cs
The qualities of Self: curiosity, calm, compassion, confidence, creativity, clarity, courage, connectedness. When you are in Self energy, you will notice one or more of these present.
Self-led
A system in which Self has enough presence and trust from the parts to lead — rather than parts running the show from a place of fear.
Legacy burdens
Burdens carried not from one's own experience but inherited through family systems — patterns, beliefs, or emotional legacies passed down through generations.
Direct access
An IFS technique for working with parts that are too blended to step back — the therapist speaks directly to the part rather than to Self.
The 6 Fs
A structured process for connecting with parts: Find, Focus, Flesh out, Feel toward, BeFriend, Fear (asking the part what it fears). Developed by Frank Anderson and other IFS practitioners.