Eight introductory practices
What follows is a sequence of introductory practices — designed to help you start noticing parts and building curiosity about your inner system. They are gentle, finishable in under fifteen minutes, and you don’t have to do them in order.
A note on what these are, and what they aren’t. These are introductory exercises in noticing — meeting parts, listening, learning the language. They are not the deeper IFS work of exile contact, unburdening, or trauma processing, which the IFS Institute itself is clear belongs in clinical practice with a trained IFS therapist. If anything below brings up significant distress, that is a signal to slow down or reach out for support.
Exercise 1: The Parts Inventory
Sit quietly and bring to mind a recent moment when you felt activated in a relationship — anxious, withdrawn, clingy, numb, or reactive. Now ask: who showed up?
Take a blank page. Write each part you noticed in the moment. Give each one a name or description. Don’t worry about being “right.” You are building a map of your inner system. Nothing on this map is permanent.
Exercise 2: Where Do You Feel It?
Choose one part from your inventory — ideally the one causing the most difficulty right now. Close your eyes. Bring that part to mind. Now ask: where do I feel this part in my body? A tightness in the chest? A weight in the stomach? A tension across the shoulders?
Stay with the physical sensation for 2–3 minutes. Don’t try to change it. Just let it be known. This is the beginning of contact.
Exercise 3: What Does This Part Need Me to Know?
Still with the same part: ask it, gently, what do you want me to know? Then listen. Don’t push for an answer. If nothing comes, that’s fine. If something comes that surprises you, write it down. The parts that speak first are often the ones that have been most unheard.
Exercise 4: The Protector Interview
Choose a protector — a part that creates distance, monitors your partner, seeks reassurance, or controls your behaviour in some way. Ask it:
- How long have you been doing this job?
- What are you afraid would happen if you stopped?
- What do you need from me?
Write a dialogue between yourself and this part. Let it answer fully. Don’t argue with what it says. Your job here is to listen, not to fix.
Exercise 5: A letter to a younger part of you
This is a witnessing exercise — not unburdening, not exile work. It is an introductory practice in turning warmth toward a younger part of you, and noticing what arises.
If approaching this brings up significant feeling, that is information. Pause, and consider working with a trained IFS practitioner — exile and unburdening work is part of clinical IFS for good reason.
Bring to mind a younger version of yourself — perhaps a particular age, perhaps just a felt sense of who you were. From the steadier, kinder part of you that exists today, write a short letter to that younger part.
You don’t need to dig for memories. You don’t need to revisit anything painful. This is simply: I see you. I’m glad you’re here. I know things were hard. I’m not going anywhere.
If the writing opens something significant, set it down. The deeper meeting of younger parts is the work of clinical IFS with a trained therapist — and it is worth doing properly, when you are ready.
Exercise 6: The 8 Cs Check-In
At any moment in your day, pause and ask yourself: which of the 8 Cs am I in right now?
Curiosity. Calm. Compassion. Confidence. Creativity. Clarity. Courage. Connectedness.
If you are in none of them — if you are flooded, reactive, or shut down — that is information. It tells you a part has taken over. You can simply notice: a part is here. That noticing is itself a return toward Self.
Exercise 7: A felt-sense safety practice
(This practice is inspired by the qualities Brown and Elliott identified in the IPF approach. It is not the IPF protocol itself, which is a clinical treatment delivered by IPF-trained therapists. See the ideal parent figure page for fuller context.)
Find stillness. Imagine a presence — any form — that is completely safe, completely present, and wants nothing from you. Let that presence carry warmth toward you. Feel it, if you can, in the body.
Stay for five minutes. When you return, write one word about what you noticed.
Exercise 8: The Daily Parts Check-In
Each morning, before the day begins: sit for two minutes and ask: who is here today? Notice which parts are most activated. Greet them. You don’t need to fix anything. Just notice. I see you. I know you’re working hard. I’m here.
This practice, done daily, builds the muscle of self-awareness over time. It is small and it is cumulative.
Where to go from here
If a particular term landed strangely as you read, the IFS glossary is a useful companion. If you’d like to understand where these practices come from, the history of parts work traces the lineage from Janet to Schwartz. If you sense that the deeper work is calling — exile contact, unburdening, trauma processing — that work belongs in therapy with a trained IFS practitioner; the how to find an IFS therapist guide is the next step.